KathyLesure

Symptoms

Not a lot of text today to begin with.

I decided instead to post videos explaining in my own words how I felt every.single.day.of.my.life for the past six years !! In fact, I’ve had some of the symptoms for far more if I’m completely honest. Please watch these short videos to RECAP.

Now I’d like to take a few moments to expound on the few symptoms that I had left on the list in the second blog post, but did not take the time to talk about in detail in the videos.

• Chronic insomnia
  • Y’all. I had problems falling asleep -and- staying asleep !! 😳 No matter how little (3-4 hours) or how much (7-8 hours) I slept, I ALWAYS awakened tired ! 😩 Most of my days consisted of going to work, coming home (driving my young adult back ‘n forth to University, taking care of my adult son with Special Needs and my elderly Granny. She’s 96, y’all !!), trying to sleep, grabbing something to eat (usually fast food) and going BACK to work !! 🤦🏾‍♀️ No worries. I’d take care of my basic needs in there somewhere too !! 🤭 Still, my “major” projects and household were on coast. Bare.necessities.ONLY !!
• Depression 😭, irritability 😡, nervousness // anxiety 😬
  • Y’all. I’ve been (barely) functional -yet clinically depressed for so long that I canNOT even begin to explain this !! 🤯😔 At one point around fourteen years ago or so, I was (mis)diagnosed as manic-depressive (Bipolar Disorder Type II) because I was SO high functioning and creative with low 😞, low 😟, low 🥺 … lows.😢 -but that’s another post for another day. 😭😭
  • In rare cases, I was irritable -though mainly with folk who didn’t know when to stop 🛑✋🏽 pushing me. 😒
  • My “static state” was mostly nervous and anxious. 😨😓 I hid (and hide) it by isolating. 🫣 I keep to myself.😶‍🌫️ That’s my truth.
• Frequent bowel movements (I mean I couldn’t go NOWHERE or eat NOTHING 🫣🤢🤦🏾‍♀️)
• Weakness
  • Y’all. There were some days when I couldn’t open a bottle, a jar, a can !!!
• and the most awful Fatigue that I’ve EVER experienced !! 😭😭😭
  • Y’all … the fatigue that accompanies thyroid problems are INDESCRIBABLE !!! 😫 Most days I felt like I was literally dragging my body BEHIND me with each step I took !! And the body I dragged was TWICE my weight !!! 😱 Most days, I wanted to simply lay down in the floor or wherever I was and simply R.E.S.T. 💤 Most days, I felt like crying because I was so fatigued.🥺 Many days, I actually did !!! 😭

Let me also add:

• Blurred Vision (which I attributed to asthma-related seasonal allergies)
  • Y’all, my vision would get cloudy out of nowhere. Sometimes, I literally could not see ANYTHING !!! Allergy eye drops would alleviate the symptoms along with a quarter of Benedryl (self-medicating “on top of Zyrtec” 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️) so I wouldn’t get too sleepy. Then, I’d have to close my eyes until I could see again.
• Syncope (probably one of the only symptoms that I could not explain away)
  • Y’all. I’d be walking along or standing or otherwise minding my own business, when I’d simply begin to fall. 🫨 I’d just tip over like a little teapot (which had me scared to death -especially in public places).

Looking back, I’m not sure just how many of these symptoms were hyperthyroidism related and or how many of them were indicative of Graves Disease. What I do know; in retrospect, is that I found a way to “excuse” or justify every symptom. 🤦🏾‍♀️ It’s really a rather subconscious thing I do and have done my whole life 🫣 when faced with something that I either a) do not have the energy (capacity) to deal with 😮‍💨 and or b) do not want to deal with. 🙈 It’s a dangerous game to play. These issues do not simply disappear because we “wish” them to. They multiply and ENLARGE !! Such was my case.😔😢😓

You see. Invisible illnesses seem harmless enough from the outside looking in; but from the inside, they are a NIGHTMARE !!!

You know how the saying goes: “people see you, but they just.don’t.know“.

To be continued …