KathyLesure

I have an eye condition.

There. I said it.

Like Leah, I am “tender eyed” (Genesis 29:17). It’s something that makes me extremely self conscious and has lowered my self esteem over the years. It’s the reason why I don’t make a lot of eye contact around people that I don’t know well unless I feel comfortable with them. It is my “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7-8).

Was I ‘born with it’: this eye condition properly termed #exotropia? No. My eye injury was a result of blunt force trauma at the age of 19, but I’m not a victim. I’m a #Survivor. I’m a #domesticviolence #survivor.

I hear the jeers. I notice the lingering looks. I notice the whispers too. I even notice the people who are kind enough to avert their eyes in the intermittent times when my right eye is ‘doing its thing’. But I am neither an object of ridicule nor of pity. I am a #survivor.

I survived being cheated on, berated, slapped, kicked and spit on. I survived a corneal transplant after being punched in the right eye. I survived being declared “legally” blind in the same eye. My baby survived after we were shoved into the footboard of a bed and went into premature labor. I survived being told I was “too black,” “ugly” and that “nobody would ever want me” by the person who disfigured me. I survived going out in public; often to sing in churches (and often WITH him), after being beaten, cursed out and humiliated. I survived being told how lucky I was to have him -to be chosen by him and how handsome he was even though I knew Prince Charming in public was a monster in the privacy of our home.

I’m a #survivor and I’m greater than what I’ve gone through. No, I don’t ‘feel’ beautiful every day. Yes, I “still” struggle with wearing my battle scars proudly, but I recall to mind 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT … “‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I don’t say this for sympathy or “likes”. I don’t say it because I’m angry at him. I’m not- not anymore. I say this to break the power that this and other things that I’ve gone through have held over my life. I say it to continue the process of ridding myself of embarrassment and shame. I say this to free someone else who may be going through or has gone through the same thing. Speak these words with me over your own situation(s):

I am a SURVIVOR! I am a WARRIOR!! I’m MORE THAN a CONQUEROR! I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me! I’m a person with a disability. I’m a SURVIVOR!

Now “stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” (Galatians 5:1 KJV)

There. I said it.

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